Rainstorms and Television

We had a ton of rain yesterday (we're talking about 4 inches).  That combined with the stress of work, and lack of sleep recently, caused quite the flareup.  I spent the afternoon and evening last night on the couch in severe pain.  I'd say the pain levels easily reached pre-SCS levels.  So my awesome husband sat with me and watched TV.  So there we were, watching NCIS and watching the rain fall and I started feeling bad for msyelf again.  I'm too young for this to happen to me.  Then House came on.  I'll admit to feeling a pang of jealousy as I watched him pop those Vicodin pills and could see the pain melt away enough to be able to function.  I found myself wishing that I could take just one of those pills without being sick for days afterward.

That's not right, though.  I don't like pills.  I took myself off of them all because of that.  What was I thinking?  Even the thought of taking them made me feel sick.  I just want the pain to go away.

So I "slept" with my leg propped up on some pillows and with the SCS jacked up as high as it could go.  It didn't do much for the pain, and here I am again.  It's a new day, complete with severe pain.  I thought these days were behind me :(

I found myself feeling bad for myself again this morning.  I started crying on my way in to work because "it hurts so bad and it's just not fair"  but you know what?  Life isn't fair.  This is a lesson I was forced to learn a long time ago.  It would be nice if the playing field were evened up a bit, but I wouldn't wish this on even my worst enemy, so I'll take it, and I'll try to make the best of it.  It's times like these my high school friend's words echo in my head "Bad things happen to good people because bad people can't handle the stress."  Maybe this is evening the playing field a bit?

Tomorrow is my town's annual beer festival and I plan on attending with my husband.  I have no doubt the SCS will be on full blast, and hopefully I'll be able to stand up the whole time we plan on being there, without being forced to hide out in the car.  Wish me luck.